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Accepting People Where They’re At


Early on in my practice, I had a tendency to impose my advice onto my patients.  I felt very strongly about optimal health and wanted others to do the same rather than gauging where my patients were at in their life.  Not everyone is ready for change.

I was personally very strict with myself and viewed everyone’s healing process as if it was my own.  I didn’t recognize that everyone’s journey is different. Over the years, I have learned that life is a process.

Our bodies are made up of many many layers…emotionally, physically, psychologically, etc.  It is truly a journey in life to work through these very unique layers.  Just like a fingerprint, our layers are unlike anyone else’s.  It takes time to change and grow.  We not only have to be patient with ourselves but we need to be patient with others.

I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves measuring someone to the same degree that we measure ourselves.  The reason for this is because we see people through the eyes of our own heart. However, we simply cannot expect the same results from everyone.  Period.  Their fingerprint isn’t the same as ours therefore we cannot judge it the same way.

So, where do we begin?

  1. It begins with self.  I had to get to the point where I was personally accepting the pace of my own healing journey.  Rather than forcing it, I began to allow myself to naturally work through the layers within.  In doing so, I allowed others to do the same.  Remember, we see people through the eyes of our own heart.  If we don’t have room for error in our own lives, we certainly won’t allow that in others.  The tragedy in this belief is… it will typically fall short.
  2. They may not be ready.  Healing manifests when our bodies are ready for it.  Remember, all of those layers play into this.  There are many different parts working at the same time.  Trying to push something on ourselves or others when our body isn’t ready for it could cause discouragement which works against healing.
  3. They may not want to.  Mentally and emotionally, we or they may not have a desire to keep going.  This doesn’t mean its permanent AND there is NOTHING wrong with it!  Freedom is a beautiful thing.  Allowing yourself and others the opportunity to pause and rest can be more powerful than you think!

In my experience, if you find yourself desiring to help someone, a few beneficial things you can do for them are:

  • Offer encouragement rather than criticism.  
  • Shine light on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.
  • Trust that their healing journey is unique to them.

In the end, let’s be okay with where we’re at.  Why not?  This simply allows room for a more loving, accepting, open heart….opposed to focusing on what hasn’t happened yet.  What is the downside?  Let’s choose to appreciate where we are and begin to enjoy life.  I’m certainly not saying we shouldn’t strive to do better.  Enjoying life is a position of the heart.

Let’s take a look back at the last several years.  Write down the progress that has been made and begin to appreciate it.  This might take some introspective thought.  “Progress” isn’t always how we would picture it. 

  • Has this journey brought you greater knowledge in a certain area?
  • Have you connected with someone you wouldn’t have otherwise met?
  • What do you see differently now than you did before?

Success doesn’t have to be measured by completion!  Success can be measured along the way.  You can literally FUEL your healing journey by appreciating how far you’ve come.  No matter what it is.  Next month, we are going to dive into this a bit deeper but for now, join me in appreciating the healing journey!

With Gratitude,

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